Chuck Bartowski is all over the internet, and now he’s making sure that you have the tools you need to escape an assassin, should someone email you any secret plans. From The Bachelor Guy

1. Chinese Throwing Stars – Pointy and deadly. ‘Nuff said.

2. Super Glue – Because the world is an imperfect place. If it wasn’t, well, why would an assassin be chasing you?

3. Swiss Army Knife – Terrifying and sharp as the Swiss people themselves.

4. iPhone – To frustrate any assassin trying to type an email or SMS.

5. Morgan Grimes – Clouseau had Cato, Fred had Barney, Tango had Cash… I have Morgan. Mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.

6. Adidas Track Suit – Comfortable, slimming, elegant, enchanting.

7. Butter – What? Butter isn’t delicious?

8. Nintendo Wii – If you’re going to outrun an assassin you better know how to play Wii Tennis.

9. A Spork – As I’ve always said: the best offense is a good defense.

10. Flamethrower – Because sometimes it’s easier to get your point across by shooting fire out of a gun than it is if you don’t have the capability to shoot fire out of a gun.”

I completely agree with 1, 3, 8, 9, and 10. A spork is a must have item for any occasion, and flamethrowers…well, I can think of a lot of times where things would have been easier if I had a flamethrower.

This post was Authored by Elizabeth, Our Resident Authority on all things Chuck

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This entry was posted on Sunday, September 16th, 2007 at 9:25 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.