You know how sometimes you meet someone and, maybe there’s a miscommunication or it’s just a bad day, but whatever the cause, you walk away with this lousy first impression that is only later revealed, and quite surprisingly so, to be the complete opposite of who that person truly is?

Well Bionic Woman isn’t anything like that.

What was a sluggish trek through familiar waters in its premiere continues a steady course in the series’ second installment, pausing in its voyage to likely cancellation just long enough to cool itself in the shade of a growing collection of cliches. Within five minutes of last night’s episode, we’re treated to the following:

– Jaime exits a funeral only to be stopped by a clandestine visitor for a cemetery chat
– Jaime snags her heel on a loose floorboard and finds secret information hidden underneath
– Jaime drowns her sorrows at a bar and bares her soul to an uncaring bartender
– Jaime tries to conquer her grief by engaging in a makeout session with a total stranger

I’ve seen each of those scenes in films and television before, and no doubt I’ll see them again. Nothing wrong with that kind of cannibalism. Sure, it’s unimaginative. It’s unsurprising. But there are times when, regardless, it works, and when it does, it works undeniably well. With Bionic Woman, the trouble isn’t that the writers seem to continually fall back on so many cliches — its the unnerving, eerily shameless way they go about the business of doing so. It’s like leaving a restaurant and spotting the waitress as she polishes off the remains of your half-eaten sandwich, only instead of looking horrified at being caught, she grins at you and shouts a goodbye through a mouthful of fries.

Maybe I am beating the proverbial life-challenged horse here, but if you think Bionic Woman isn’t getting a fair shake from this long-winded reviewer, then this might be all the proof needed: When Jaime is called to her sister’s school after the troubled teen is caught smoking in the girl’s room, she actually tells her “You’re a cliche.” Nevermind the whole glass homes and throwing stones bit, someone ought to inform David Eick and lead writer Laeta Kalogridis that there are some things you just shouldn’t brag about.

The teaser for next week’s episode appears little different, yet it does promise more of Katee Sackhoff’s Sarah Corvus. So while I can’t explain it, and while my two snarky and thoroughly unpleasant reviews would appear to indicate otherwise, I’m still hoping someone rights this ship and finds a new direction to shoot for. If the ratings released today are to be believed, that someone had better do so sooner rather than later. According to the Broadcasting & Cable, Bionic Woman took a staggering 30% plunge in its second outing.

This post was authored by Jim Titus, a man worth significantly less than Six Million Dollars