That is correct; last week’s episode of Survivor China was almost perfect. Without a doubt it is the greatest episode that I have ever seen. Especially considering how early in the season it still is. Why? Let’s break it down…

First off, as a Survivor fan, there is nothing we like to do more than to speculate on strategy and play the “What If” game.
Thursday’s episode built off of PG’s master plan from last week. Last week PG, Jamie, and Erik threw the challenge to vote off Aaron. Going into this week one could only assume that they would again throw the challenge to vote off James. In the reward challenge Fei Long won and kidnapped James. Nothing unexpected yet. Because he was kidnapped James received a sealed clue to the immunity idol and was to give it to a Fei Long member. Todd knew that James would be getting said clue and told James to give it to him and in return he would keep him safe. A mildly interesting twist. James gives Todd the clue. With the clue, Todd and Amanda go find the immunity idol. They begin to find it just as Frosti shows up. In the end Todd, Amanda, Frosti, and James all know that the hidden immunity idol has been found. Realizing what PG is trying to pull Todd and crew decide to give James the idol when he is sent back to Zhan Hu.

Let’s pause here. At this point the tables turn. PG, Jamie, and Erik realize that they could get out numbered so they want to win the next challenge, rather than throw it like they threw the last one. Todd’s plan is for James to go back to Zhan Hu, with the idol, and throw the challenge. Then at tribal counsel PG, Jamie, and Erik will, of course, vote out James, but James will play the hidden immunity idol, save himself, and vote off Erik. Brilliant!

Now comes the immunity challenge. PG, Jamie, and Erik want to win for Zhan Hu but James and all of Fei Long think they want to throw the challenge. James and Fei Long all want James to throw the challenge and they have to think that the rest of Zhan Hu wants to lose too.

What happens? The one thing you would never expect. Zhan Hu is unable to throw the challenge because stupid lunch lady, mullet wearing, Denise, can’t finish her damn chicken fetus. James was eating that fetus as slow as he possibly could and she still couldn’t win. I can’t blame James either for finishing; it was just so pathetic that he had to put her out of her misery.

Denise, you do not deserve to win if you cannot purposely lose a challenge. You’re a lunch lady for god’s sake, you’re around disgusting food all year round and you can’t finish a damn chicken fetus. God have mercy on your soul. You are not allow to win Survivor.

Alright, back to the action (by the way I’m really trying not to do an episode recap here but so many interesting things happened that I feel they all are worth mentioning). So Zhan Hu wins the immunity challenge and Fei Long will be going to tribal counsel. That’s about all that is worth going into deeply at this point but I’ve never before seen more brilliant strategies fall perfectly into place and they completely fall apart before.

Why else was this episode so freaking great? At different points we had very legit reasons to think that 7 different castaways would be voted off.

I’m kind of spent right now and I really really want to go into each of these 7 so I think I’ll split this little article into 2 parts. Come back in a couple days and I’ll give you my thoughts on the 7 Survivor who could have easily been voted off this week. I’ll also let you know why CBS complete ruined the surprise for next week.

This post was Authored by Matt Kjesbo, Our Resident Authority on all things Survivor