The upcoming Star Wars tv series is a hot topic. Well sort of! It’s hard to discuss something when you really don’t know that much about it, and generally the conversation goes to the prequels and enters “How can Lucas screw this up more?” territory.

Many of the readers may not know that Star Wars has had television series before, most of which were much more cringeworthy than any of Jake Lloyd’s “Yipppppeeeesssss!”

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)- Not really a series, but it was made for television. This is increbidly hard to watch two hour long tv special is one that George Lucas has tried ever so long to forget, but us nerds just won’t let him! It is really painstaking to watch. I have never finshed it, but the portions I did watch could be used to torture victims into submission.

Carrie Fisher was obviously lit up throughout the entire thing.  This was apparently shot when she was deep in her drug addiction.

It included a crappy holiday tune sung to the Star Wars theme, and featured music from the likes of Jefferson Starship. Seriously, what does Jefferson Starship have to do with Star Wars? What does Star Wars have to do with Christmas?

Though, all is not lost. The Holiday Special included the introduction to Boba Fett in an animated segment and even had brief looks at deleted scenes from the first film disguised as relavent moments. But still, this is definitely not worth the budget it took to create it.

Ewok Adventure(1984) and Ewoks: The Battle For Endor(1985)- I remember distinctly watching these two TV films a lot  as a kid. In fact, as embarassing as it is to admit, I saw these films before I saw Return of the Jedi, and I remember walking in Target and looking at the movie rack where Return of the Jedi sat and seeing Wicket on the cover and turning to my dad and asking “Why are Ewoks in Star Wars?” Wow! I was a stupid kid!

Of course, I learned the truth a few years later, that the Ewok films were spinoffs (”sequals” I said then) from Return of the Jedi, and while I loved them as a kid, I have yet to rack up the courage to buy the dvds from the cheap rack.

The Ewok Adventure, now known as “Caravan of Courage” thanks to Lucasfilm and their nack for changing/lenghtening titles, was about two kids stranded on Endor and looking for their parents with the help of the faithfull Ewoks.

The Battle For Endor killed off a lot of the Ewoks and all of the human family except the young girl, who makes it out alive with Wickett, who are later helped by an old man played by Wilford Brimley, the once respected actor from Cocoon who now sells life insurance on television commercials aired during The Price is Right. Eventually, the little girl idioticly gets herself captured and the old man and Wicket have to save her.

The thing I remember most from these films was how shocked i was when most of the main characters from the first film were killed at the beginning of the second. I mean, how often does that happen?

Droids(’85-’86) and Ewoks(’85-’87)- While two different animated series, I class these two together.  And besides, they were slammed together to make the Ewoks and Droids Adventure Hour!  These two shows weren’t as painful as the Holiday Special, and yet, they were all the more forgettable!

Both series were quite similar to the style of the animated series of the time, and following Return of the Jedi, they were obviously an attempt at keeping Star Wars alive on the small screen (kind of like the two shows they are making now).

Of the two, it’s Droids that I remember the most. I even have an old vhs lying somewhere in the house.  It apparently took place in between Revenge of the Sith and the original Star Wars, but oddly enough, it featured pirates flying imperial ships instead of, you know, the imperials. Something that has had me confused since I was a child.  Also, for some odd reason, the droids go from master to master, and yet I thought they were property of Capt. Antilles at this time. Maybe, I’m wrong!

Ewoks took place before Return of the Jedi and featured the Ewoks speaking in English and not their official language.

Both series didn’t last long, ut there have been video and dvd release featuring a few prominant episodes, but they are nothing more than a couple of interesting tidbits in Star Wars’ ongoing history.

The Clone Wars(’03-’05)- This one is fairly new and most of you probably already know about it, but I felt that since it is, in a way, a Star Wars tv series, that I should include it.

As you all know, Clone Wars took place in between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith and was part of the huge Clone Wars marketting strategy Lucasfilm developed, which also included a multi-platform video game that was really easy to beat.

The first round of episodes were only three to four minutes long, and were really easy to miss when they aired on Cartoon Network. Luckily, you could find them on Star War’s main website, which was usually how I watched them. Then towards the release of Revenge of the Sith, the episodes were over ten minutes long, and built up to the start of the final film.

It was here where we were introduced to General Grevous, the uncanny and quite pointless villian from Revenge of the Sith. 

The animation was 2D, unlike the upcoming CGI series, and was done in a style very similar to Samurai Jack. Of course, the show was directed by Genndy Tartakovsky,a name that is easily to say than it is to spell and one that goes hand and hand with shows like Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack.

While I still don’t think the character designs quite match that Star Wars feel, at least in my opinion they don’t,  I did enjoy this show. It was action-packed and fun, which is something that can’t be said for the other shows and TV films listed above.

So there we have it. A short list of Star Wars cash-ins that range from pitiful to decent, save for The Clone Wars, which was quite entertaining.